I am not this, not that. II

I am not this, not that II

I always said gurus are dumb‑asses

So I, with something that has no substance but which has just created an impression there, presume that this mind and this body is real. So now, what have we done so far? We are accepting the reality of the mind and the body, and, at the same time, we are denying the mind and the body. Because both are true. You are not the body, yet the body; you are not the mind, yet the mind. Then what is your reality? And how are you going to prove this reality to stupid scientists! [laughter] I beg your pardon, Dr. Viernstein. How are you going to prove it?

You can only prove it by inference. Or by the very factor that reality requires no proof. It exists because of its own existence. The only time you can prove reality is when you have a reference point. And if you do not find a reference point‑‑and where can there be any reference point as as far as Divinity is concerned. So existence proves itself by its very existence. Can you see the air that you are breathing now? But you are conscious of the factor that you are breathing. Conscious, or perhaps non‑ conscious of it. There’s no such thing as unconscious. Non‑ conscious and conscious. I wish I can get hold of Jung. I know what I’ll do to him. [laughter] Castrate him!

There is consciousness and non‑consciousness. Non‑ consciousness means you are not aware. And conscious means that you are aware. Now, what proof is there of awareness. Does awareness require any proof? Does the light burning there require any proof that it is burning? Its very act of giving light is its own proof. And that these stupid scientists don’t want to admit. Do you see.

So we come to the point of asking ourselves that does everything in life require to be proved. No. You do not need to prove anything. Because when it comes to the highest level, you need a point of reference, and the highest level being the one, without a second, cannot have a reference point. I exist, I exist, because I exist. That’s all. And because I, the real me to which I have no reference point exists, I can only refer it back to a grosser level of the mind and the body, which finds its existence in that which I cannot prove is existing.

So I’m taking the highest factor in life and bringing it down to the grossest factor and [defying?] [deifying?] [defining?] the grossness of the grossest factor to that level. And that is what I could compare things with. But when we reach the point beyond comparison ‑‑ comparison ‑‑ ahh! Beautiful word. You’re pairing up things in comparison. There have to be two to compare. But what if I want to exist as I am in my full totality, then will I not lose the idea of comparing myself to anything else? And the very moment I lose the idea of comparing myself to any subject or object, that is the very moment when I will lose the ego self, that imprint that is existing in my experience. Or the impression of the experience. Then where will I be? I shall be incomparable.

I shall be the source of existence itself, which I am. Not in reality, but in actuality. For reality changes from day to day. What is real to you today might be unreal to you tomorrow. You see. But when I become actual, when I become the source and recognize that source within me, or the source recognizes itself, then I will say, let me enjoy this body. Let me enjoy this mind, for it is a product of a collection of impressions. And if they are there, let me make the best use of it.

So here we are fusing two factors. The fusion lies in the fact that that which is created by impression‑‑or maya or illusion‑‑is brought into reality, and reality is converted into illusion. So I make the best of both worlds. If at this very moment I feel like getting up and embracing you, I’ll do it. And there’s no force or power in this world that’s going to stop me. But I’m not going to be attached by an impression.

For example, let’s see what example we can use. Say I loved a woman very much, I was deeply involved with that woman. Fine. And she has left me. She has jilted me or died or whatever or jumped in the lake. Now, is she there or is she not there? She’s dead, we know. But is she there or is she not there? She is there because you think she is there. What makes you think she is there is because those impressions, those experiences, and you are reliving something so far in the past which has no reality today, which has become an illusion. Because she is not there. I have developed a dependency upon her when she was there. So what am I living on now? On dependencies.

Now should I as a man or a woman or whatever not get rid of these memories, those impressions? Should I not start a different life in such a way that automatically those impressions will be obliterated? Now if this would happen to me, I will go out and find myself a beautiful girlfriend, that’s for sure. Because I have my physical needs as I need to go ‑‑ because everything is biological ‑‑ as I need to go to the bathroom. I need food to eat to sustain this body. I need some comfort, I need peering, looking deeply and floating away, melting away in my beloved’s eyes. For I am existing with a reality, which is my body and my mind. Though in essence it is unreal, but for the moment of three score years and ten, let me do the best with it I can. Why not. Who would deny me that right? And why should it be denied to me? You think all these organs we have are there just for the fun of it or for the show of it? You think I have ears and I must not hear? Or I have eyes and I must not see? Or a nose and not smell? Or any other organ of my body that has been there created through an evolutionary process and not to be used. Why should I not use every organ in this body of mine to its fullest value? Honestly and sincerely, not lustfully or selfishly. You see.

So these monks with all their monkey business say become celibate, become this and that, become this and I don’t know what all. I say, «become yourself!» Be yourself! You agree with me, Professor?

Voice: Ya.

GR: Be yourself. How can I make myself be myself? Ahh! How can I make myself be myself? And the answer to that riddle is so simple. Do you know that beautiful hymn which I like very much, lead thou me on, kindly light, one step at a time is enough for me. Don’t you know that beautiful hymn? What’s wrong with you Americans? [laughter] Lead thou me on, kindly light, one step at a time is enough for me. Like that it goes on. We’ll try and find it in some song book. It’s very beautiful. It’s my favorite hymn. Right. I’ve forgot the words because I’ve absorbed the meaning. There’s your secret. Absorb and forget that which is extraneous.

Why load yourself up with the words. But once you absorb the essence, you don’t need the words. What can I do to make myself into what I want to be. Firstly, I must admit to myself that I’m living a fragmented life. Part of my mind is pulling that way, part of my mind is pulling that way, part of my mind is floating up there in Chicago and another part somewhere in some heaven or some hell or [????????] which has no existence in reality. For if my wife dies tomorrow I don’t even want to know where the hell she is. I’m sure she’ll be in Heaven, because she goes through hell with me [laughter]. It’s no job looking after a guru. Nevertheless, that’s besides the point.

Admit to oneself that I’m fragmented. Lead thou me on, kindly light to integration away from fragmentation. Let me be whole. Let me function in this life holistically. Let me not find any more the discriminatory factors between body, mind, and spirit. Let me regard it to be one continuum. And this continuum, after finding through spiritual practices and meditation, when you find this continuum of yourself, mind, body, and spirit, this continuum will extend and extend and develop so much that the entire universe becomes you and you become the universe.

So then what importance would dear Lata assume in my life? She was part of my existence for a certain period of time, we served each other well, we did the best for each other, and the body had to drop away so it dropped away. What can I do about it? Am I going to mope about it all the time and make this little life that I’ve got left‑‑I don’t know how long I’m going to live‑‑two years, five years, ten years, fifteen years‑‑and make those few years that are ahead of me into a living hell and a misery? Because every thought you think in a miserable way is definitely going to affect the one that I have loved and that is not here with me. So I am doing her a disservice, I’m not doing her a favor. Because my misery while she’s in a different dimension….

I’ll find another joke. You know, these damn tapes has to be three hours long, I don’t know why he got 20 minutes. He’s putting it through American channel something.

You know, this chap was proposing to his woman, and he says, «My beloved, let us get married.» A soft little look on the face, a melting away, let us get married. Are you listening to me, Audrey? [Voice: Yes.] GR: Good. [Laughter] «Let us get married, it’ll be so beautiful, but do know one thing, that look, I’m not a rich man. I just barely make ends meet, but I can support you most probably, you might have to help a bit too, sometimes. But that’s not so important, is it. I love you, that’s important. Look, I’m not like Jack. He’s got a yacht and two Rolls Royces and he’s got that big mansion and all that, but I’m poor. But I love you.» So she says, «Yes, honey, I do know that you love me very much. But tell me a bit more about Jack.» [Laughter]

This other guy was going on a holiday and he was chatting with his pal. And his friend says, «Look, your vacation is coming up, and what are you going to do on your vacation?» So he says, «I’m going on a Caribbean cruise (remember Audrey, that’s in store for you). I’m going on a cruise.» (Within two months time. Sorry the interruption.) So the friend asked, «What did you do last year?» He says, «Last year I went on a honeydew cruise, and I didn’t like it.» So the friend asks, «What do you mean by a honeydew cruise?» So he replies (don’t laugh before the joke is over), «Last year I stayed home and every couple of minutes the wife says, «honey do this, and honey do that.»

Yes, so existence and non‑existence, what am I going to do about it? I’m both. I am existing, and at the same time, the impressions which I’m existing upon is non‑existent. So here, someone I love had to depart through no fault of mine. I’ve done my best, so has she. So what am I going to do about it? Mope? Get myself into a mental tizzy and become dizzy?

Like this guy, you know, in circuses you have the cannonball, the human cannonball. You have it in this country? Right. So he goes to a bar‑‑in England we call it a pub. What do you call it here? [Voices: Bar.] Bar. Yea, so he goes to this bar and he was having a few and he met someone sitting next to him and they started chatting. And so this fellow asks him, «What do you do?» So he says, «I’m a human cannonball, and I’ve come to the bar to get loaded.» [laughter]

So let me tell you this, that 99.999% of your problems in your mind are self‑created without any damn substance. So that which you have created without substance… very easy way out of it‑‑pull the chain! [laughter] [END SIDE ONE]

That is the secret of life. Forget the past. It is gone. Do not project yourself into the future, it might not be there. But live for this moment, Audrey. Live for this moment. And then you’ll preserve your physical health, you’ll preserve your mental health, you’ll become integrated in mind, body and spirit, and you’ll enjoy life. For life is joy. So, as I always say, enjoy the joy. Why deny yourself of that beautiful joy of this so‑ called existence when you can have fun. What’s wrong with fun. Enjoy it. But be honest and sincere, that’s important. If I should kiss you‑‑I don’t know which one‑‑I would be doing it with total honesty and sincerity and without any thought of lust. Because in that peck on your cheek‑‑or wherever‑‑I’d be imparting to you something that you need. And to change your entire lifestyle and make you appreciate that which you think is suffering. And change it in such a way, very sweetly and beautifully. That’s the way we function.

I always said gurus are dumb‑asses.