Anger

Dealing with anger

GARY: I have a question about anger. For me lately I’ve had a lot of anger come up that I haven’t experienced in my whole life, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. My question is, sort of, where does anger really come from, and how does one disperse it as harmlessly as possible?

GURURAJ: Beautiful, beautiful. Anger is a product of oneself, and it is created by so many kinds of frustrations that one might have within oneself. So the outward anger is just a projection of what you are all about, combined with all your inhibitions and frustrations and you are not at one with yourself. So therefore, anger is important, because it helps to gather you within yourself. Now, I can take each and every one in a moment and make you feel totally angry, [LAUGHTER] but that is not the solution. I could shit you out right away, yes, and make you feel more angry. It could serve a good purpose though, because you would be releasing the pent up emotions of yourself. So anger too has a great part to play in a person’s life. But there’s one thing to be remembered, surely, is the control of anger. Control of anger does not mean the suppression of anger, because by suppressing it it only goes deeper down and will erupt like a volcano. So let it out in bits and pieces. That’s the way to do it. Because then the process will not hurt you so much by letting it out in bits and pieces instead of a vast explosion. So to make the process more simpler, more easier, you let it out little by little. As the old saying goes, «If you feel anger go and kick your dog.» Poor dog. Why must it be kicked in any case?

So, anger wells up because of pent up emotions and feelings. But you can dissipate it step by step and very, very kindly. So when the kindness is mixed with anger, anger loses itself. If you want to be angry, be angry with anger and not with anyone else. Do you see how simple it is and how it works? I’m going to be bloody angry now! Jesus, what am I angry about? I’m angry about my anger. Do you see? So be angry with your anger and say, «Hey boy, what the hell is this?» And then you start analyzing it and you ask yourself, «Why have I been angry?» because anger is transitory. It’s only for the moment, and after the moment of anger passes, you are in a totally different mood. And in that mood you say, «Why was I angry? Was it necessary to lose my mind temporarily?» That’s how one views it. But why do it in retrospection? Do it at the moment. If your foot itches, scratch it. And you scratch your anger and remove the itch, because that itch is a bitch. [LAUGHTER] As Sujay says, «Oh, life is a bitch.» Do you see? That is the way to deal with it. And with a bit of patience and practice you could deal with anger. For example, if I would swear now at Vidyaji or Roopaji, in one moment it will pass and I would ask myself, «Why did I swear at them, because this was not done or that was not done when I know it will soon be done. I have been impatient with myself. I have lost the patience and become impatient. So, that is how we deal with anger or any emotion that wells up.

Do you know when you make love to your wife or girlfriend, whatever, it is also an expression of a certain form of anger. Do you know that? Because that pleasure has the element of pain in it. But how to combine the two, how to reconcile it, there lies the art of love and of living.

Next question. Just give me a little moment to blow my nose. And I’m not angry about that, that’s for sure. It’s mixed with a certain amount of pleasure and also pain.